Trenzalore - The Untold Story

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Trenzalore - The Untold Story

Post  DalekEmperor101 on Mon 01 Sep 2014, 21:46

After getting some feedback from Duke Nukem, Ive decided to embark on writing a story that will hopefully allow me to expand my writing and get better at doing. I will say that Duke has helped alot, explaining quite a few points that I need to improve on, and Im very grateful for that. So, even though quite small at this point, I take a journey to Trenzalore. Any feedback is helpful, and much appreciated.


Starring down from the clock tower, the Doctor looked as the residents of Christmas moved around, replanting flowers and setting up the Christmas stalls. Smiling, the Doctor turned towards Handles. A severed Cyber head, now one of the Doctor’s most trusted companions. Picking him up, the Doctor began the long journey down the stairs
“Even after climbing these almost everyday, the body doesn’t quite adjust does it Handles?”
The Doctor stopped mid-step, facing Handles dead on
“One day, Ill find you a body. I hope. Im sure one of the other Cybermen wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his, hmm?” 
Continuing down the stairs, the Doctor placed a pillow on a chair, before resting Handles on it. 
“There you are buddy. Safe and sound,” 
The Doctor wondered over to the window and looked out at the stars. His head dropping slightly, he muttered under his breath
“But for how long?”

Barnable glanced at the clock tower. Unsure where the Doctor was, he twitched nervously. Knowing that the celebrations would start soon, he knew the Doctor wouldn’t miss them. But time had a way of slipping from him now. The Doctor was aging, and he knew he was. As he contemplated running for the door, it slowly opened. Some of the other children gathered around, as the Doctor moved slowly out of the house, walking stick in one hand, his other behind his back.
“Sorry. Handles is ever such a talker. He’s a bit sleepy tonight though,” The Doctor started down the stairs. “But, I have an old friend who will be joining us. As well as a treat for the lovely Tasha Lem”
As the Doctor stepped off the final step, he moved forward towards the table. Leaning over, he patted Barnable on the head, smiling as he went.
“Did I ever tell you…of the time I fought the Zarbi” 
Children began to gather round, as the Doctor sat for the tale. 
“It all began, a very long time ago. Almost 1000 years to this day…..”

Watching on the screen, Tasha Lem saw the children gather round the Doctor, listening to his every word, gripping the tale with both ears. Tasha smiled, before realizing a tear from her eye. Wiping it away, Albero walked in.
“The updates on the shield Ma’am.” Seeing the tear in Tasha’s eye, Albero looked her in the face, “What’s wrong Ma’am?”
Tasha looked towards him
“He doesn’t realize does he? He is too busy fighting, he doesn’t realize he is failing”
Slightly confused, Albero cocked his head slightly
“Failing? He is protecting the planet isn’t he? He is doing his job..”
Laughing slightly, Tasha shook her head. She moved over towards her desk, sitting down slowly
“HE is failing. As in his life. Its being drained, day by day. As the world moves on, he stays. For once, time has a chance to catch up, and it is. And he doesn’t even know it…”

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Re: Trenzalore - The Untold Story

Post  The Fourth Doctor on Mon 01 Sep 2014, 21:53

Very good and really sad. Lovely bit of writing. I'll stay tuned for more.

TFD Big Grin

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Re: Trenzalore - The Untold Story

Post  DalekEmperor101 on Mon 01 Sep 2014, 21:56

Thanks very much TFD!

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Re: Trenzalore - The Untold Story

Post  DalekEmperor101 on Tue 21 Oct 2014, 15:44

Only a small Add on

The Doctor slowly rose from his chair, as he viewed the children playing. He swayed slightly as he realised he had eaten too much. Reaching for his cane, the Doctor slowly limped off towards the bell tower. As he reached the doors, he turned and watched the children, feasting and playing at the same time. Smiling, he opened the doors and moved over towards Handles, who was flickering.
   “Handles? Are you alright?” 
The Doctor moved closer towards him, and placed his hand on the Cyberhead
   “Affirmative. Conserving power levels.”
The lights went out in Handles head. The Doctor moved back, watching him as he regenerated his power source. Moving over towards his chair, the Doctor glanced at the crack in the wall.
   “I made a promise, to so many. I must have hope and believe I can keep it…”
Sitting down, the Doctor picked up another toy, and began tweaking it. Outside his window, the children continued to play, as Christmas Eve fell. Tomorrow would be a new day, with new challenges. But the Doctor hoped, that just this once, his enemies would stop. For Christmas…

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Re: Trenzalore - The Untold Story

Post  The Fourth Doctor on Tue 21 Oct 2014, 17:10

Aww... I feel all snuggly and Christmassy and...

OH NO!!! It's only October 21st!

Very good though.

TFD Big Grin

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The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering. ~The Doctor
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